


I Bare My Skin and I Count My Sins

by Telesilla



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Episode: s04e10 This Mortal Coil, Knifeplay, M/M, Medical Kink, Painplay, S&M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 22:29:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's always liked rough sex as stress release, but now that they're half Replicator, things have changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Bare My Skin and I Count My Sins

**Author's Note:**

> This begins shortly after the events of "This Mortal Coil."

By the time they escape the Replicators, loot the hell out of the Alpha Site--because even Elizabeth agrees that Atlantis owes them that much--Rodney's been hurt three times. Two of them were minor bruises and scrapes, but the damage he took when John crashed the jumper was pretty severe. Rodney knows he can't actually feel the nanites crawling through his body as they heal him, but he can imagine it--tiny little robots leaving a trail of acid and fire in their wake. John, Ronon and Teyla tried to act like it was no big deal, but Elizabeth curled up in the ruined jumper and shuddered and moaned through the process along with Rodney.

Rodney gets scraped up and even mildly burned once while he works on the Replicator ship they "obtained" before leaving the planet the Alpha Site's on and it's kind of weird. For all that he tends to make a big deal out of his injuries for various psychological reasons he tries not to think about, he never really noticed all the little dings he picked up over the course of an average day. Now, he can't ignore them.

Eventually he gets used to the feeling--minor healing starts to hurt less--but that doesn't mean he likes it.

The discussions about what they're going to do with a Replicator ship and their half-human, half-Replicator bodies get a little heated. John and Ronon want to go on the attack right away while Elizabeth and Teyla prefer a wait and see attitude. For the most part, Rodney's in favor of the later, but when he thinks about how the fucking Replicators stole his life, he kind of wants to bomb the crap out of them. Bad enough that, since arriving in the Pegasus Galaxy, he's done less science than he'd expected to, but now, he's been reduced to serving as Chief Engineer on a Replicator ship while the "real" Rodney McKay has his labs and his research--not to mention his comfortable quarters--back on Atlantis.

"Still," he says to John in one of their meetings. "Don't you think we need some kind of base of operations? We're tearing through the MREs we took from the Alpha Site; we seem to need more fuel now and we can't just plug in to the ship like the Replicators do. Even if we plan on living like Travelers, we're going to need a source of supplies."

"Yeah," John says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know...it's just...."

"They fucked us up," Ronon says with a scowl.

"Yes they did," Teyla says. "And we will not forget that."

John still looks unhappy and Rodney knows that there will still be some maneuvering while he and Elizabeth try to work out who's in charge. Rodney thinks it's a little ridiculous given that there are only five of them, but whatever.

"I still don't like it," John says later that night when they're alone. He's restless, almost fidgety, and his pacing is starting to annoy Rodney.

"I'm getting that impression. And it's not like we don't all feel the same way. But, come on; I shouldn't be the one to remind you of the value of proper planning and logistics."

"I fucking hate it when you're right."

"No you don't," Rodney says with a faint snort. "You hate it when you feel trapped."

"Yeah." John shoots him a little glance and then starts pacing again

"Oh for God's sake," Rodney says. "Come over here."

When they first started sleeping together, the sex had been pretty vanilla, which was just fine with Rodney. He'd never needed the kink to have a good time and vanilla sex with John was better than kinky sex with anyone else, so, all in all, Rodney was content. And then there had been a frustrating mission and John was suddenly edgy and that was when Rodney discovered that sometimes John needed more.

Tonight is one of those nights.

Rodney's kissing John hard, one hand on John's ass, before he realizes that, what with one thing or another, they haven't done this since....

"Well," he says, pulling back. "This is weird."

"How so?" John asks, biting his lip. "Can't imagine it's gonna feel any different."

Rodney's not so sure, but whatever; he's already turned on.

They don't share quarters on the ship, although, Rodney thinks as he shoves John onto his bunk, they might as well. Ronon and Teyla know and there's no longer a reason to hide from Elizabeth.

"Please," John says and Rodney turns his attention back to the matter at hand.

"Go on," Rodney says. "Clothes off."

Once they're both naked, Rodney pauses and looks at John. He looks the same way he looked when Rodney last had him sprawled out on a bed. He's not sure why he expected John to look any different; Rodney himself hasn't changed in any way. John gives him a puzzled look and Rodney shakes his head and returns his attention to the matter at hand.

Settling down on the bed next to John, Rodney bends down and kisses him again. It's more a bite than a kiss; Rodney uses his teeth to worry at John's lower lip. Normally, John would fight him for control of the kiss, but tonight he lets Rodney lead. Rodney knows it's not easy for him and he bites down harder, trying to give John what he wants. What he needs.

After another moment or two spent kissing John, Rodney clamps a hand on John's hip. "Here," he says, shoving the fingers of his other hand in John's mouth. "Get them wet."

While John sucks and licks his fingers, Rodney digs his fingers into John's skin. Once he's sure he's left bruises, he slides his hand a little lower. It's not easy to grab John's ass--it's all muscle--but Rodney does his best. "Fuck," John mutters. "Rodney...."

"Yeah?"

John twists under Rodney, spreading his legs. "C'mon, fuck me," he says.

"With just spit?" Rodney asks. He doesn't wait for an answer and he doesn't need one. When he reaches down and shoves two spit-slick fingers into John's ass, John grunts and tilts his hips up for more. 

Long before he would normally be ready, John gives him a look. "Rodney, stop fooling aroudn."

When Rodney shoves into him hard, John throws his head back against the pillow and groans. He looks faintly surprised and then he shudders and and starts moving with Rodney.

Rodney just fucks hims steadily for a few moments and then he reaches down to pinch John's nipple. John groans and then does it again, louder, when Rodney twists hard. "Yeah," he pants. Rodney twists his nipple harder. "Oh fuck...yeah...good."

By the time Rodney moves his fingers down, this time pinching the skin over John's hip bone, they're both panting hard. As he always is, Rodney's struck by how good John looks when he's hurting. And he can't deny that he likes hurting John, likes the feeling of control and power it gives him to reduce John to this.

Rodney drags it out as long as he can, pinching random spots on John's side and once, biting down hard on John's shoulder. Finally, as John's moans get more and more urgent, Rodney pauses. "Now," he gasps. "Get those knees up."

Most of the time, John would be embarrassed and reluctant to be seen like this, even during sex. Now, however, he reaches down, grabs his legs behind his knees and pulls them up. "Hard," he says. "C'mon Rodney...do it hard."

Rodney takes a deep breath and then starts pounding into John. It's close to prefect; John's tight and eager beneath him and it's so fucking good. Gritting his teeth, Rodney tries to wait it out; he wants to make it as good for John as he can. Finally, John gets even louder, snarling out obscenities and Rodney's name.

"Yeah...fuck yeah, John...yeah...." Rodney really puts his back into it, fucking John as hard as he can.

John comes with a full body shudder. He goes tight around Rodney's dick and that's more than enough for Rodney. With one last rough thrust, he slams into John and comes hard.

When John relaxes under him, Rodney shivers through an aftershocks and slumps down on top of him. "God," he says. "You're not the only one who needed that."

"You're welcome," John says with a little laugh.

"Likewise."

Rodney pulls out and rolls over. As usual he looks John over, wanting to see the beginnings of the bruises he's left on John. Only....

"Oh right," he says, looking at John's unmarked skin. "The fucking nanites."

"Is that what it is?" John's squirming, an odd expression on his face.

"Yeah, why? What's up?"

John's face goes a little red, which is kind of amusing, given that Rodney just finished fucking him into the mattress.

"You know how I'm always a little sore? Well...God this feels weird. I think the nanites are taking care of it."

"Okay that's freaky," Rodney says with a sympathetic little shiver.

"Yeah. Kinda disappointing, really. I mean, half the reason I like that is feeling it later."

"Huh."

John smiles at him and reaches out. Pulling Rodney down, he kisses him and says, "the other half was awesome, though. It really does help."

"Well, good then."

* * *

They spend time learning their way around the Replicator ship, but none of them want to become Travelers, so they also look for a planet to use as a base. It's easier said than done; their maps and the scouting reports Rodney has on his tablet are based on gate addresses and not the physical locations of planets.

It's a slow, frustrating process and they're all a little edgy as they try to adjust to the idea that they're not really themselves--not exactly. John, Ronon and Teyla spar a lot, Rodney and Elizabeth bicker, and Rodney and John start having rough sex much more often than they used to.

It's still a little frustrating for both of them. Rodney likes seeing bruises and John likes feeling them, but the nanites work fast enough that they're gone by the time both of them come. John says he's getting used to the nanites healing him but more and more Rodney wonders how he really feels about it.

He gets the answer when he comes across John in the big room they use as a gym. He's sitting by himself, doing something to his arm,  
and he's so intent on whatever it is that he doesn't hear Rodney come into the room.

"What are you doing?"

John head's head snaps up, a guilty expression on his face. "I...."

Rodney can see his arm now and as he watches, a dark red mark on John's inner arm fades to pink and then vanishes. John's face goes red and he ducks his head, clearly turned on.

"Why didn't you wait until tonight?" Rodney's trying not to sound hurt, but he can't help feeling a little bit upset. Apparently what they do in bed isn't enough.

"No," John says without looking up. "It's not that. Um...it's the nanites. I...it, uh, feels good."

"Wait, what?" Rodney says with a scowl. Even after a couple months, he still doesn't like it when his various scratches and bruises heal up and those are minor. "The healing process?"

"Yeah. Ironically enough, it's making me better at hand to hand." When Rodney gives him a puzzled look, John shrugs. "I really don't want them to see me getting turned on when I get hurt."

"Huh...."

Rodney's still looking at John and finally John says, "what?"

"Let me," Rodney says. He sits down next to John and reaches for his arm. He's always done his best to balance John's need for pain with the realities of their situation. But now....

"Can I?"

As soon as John nods, Rodney digs his fingers into John's inner arm and pinches it.

"Harder," John says, wincing.

He grimaces when Rodney twists his fingers harder. Rodney's still not doing more than he usually does when they're fucking but, after a glance at John, he lets go and then pinches up the same piece of skin and twists it the other way.

"Fuck," John says with a grunt.

"Too much?"

John shakes his head, but Rodney stops anyway. He watches John shudder as the mark begins to heal. "Okay, that's enough."

"No it's not," John says, frowning.

"It's enough for here. As I just demonstrated, anyone could come by and see us. I'm not having sex with you, or even doing fun sexy things with you, where people can see."

"Oh, okay."

They sit and talk for a while; Rodney blathers about the latest data he's coaxed from the ship's computers and John pretends to look interested. Finally, after John's erection has gone away, they head toward their quarters.

"Okay, I know we never really negotiated," Rodney says, settling in a chair while John flops down on the bed. "But in this case, I think we should talk."

"Joy," John says. He puts his arm over his face, forearm hiding his eyes. Rodney doesn't mind; he's willing to let John hide as long as he talks.

"Do you like the actual pain? Or is it the healing?"

"The pain's okay so far, but it's different than when...."

"When?"

"When you're doing it. When it's just me, the pain's more...a means to an end, I guess."

"So, it's the healing?" When John nods, Rodney shivers a little. "Really? Because, even though I've gotten used to it, I still think it hurts almost as much as the initial injury."

"Yeah, but it's different, right?"

"I guess."

"The best way I can describe it...it's like a prolonged electric shock, only under my skin."

"You ever do electrical play?"

"A couple times, back on Earth. I liked it."

"Well, I wish you'd told me that. I could have rigged something up. Still could, actually."

"I never thought...I mean, you were kind of doing me a favor, right?"

"What?" And maybe Rodney;s louder than he should be, but still. At least he has John's attention; John moves his arm and looks at him. "You missed all the times I said I liked it?"

"Well I just figured it was...I dunno, being able to fuck me harder than usual."

"This," Rodney snaps, "is why people negotiate and, you know, actually talk about what they're doing." He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. "For your information, I like hurting you as much as I like rough sex. In fact, they're connected; one of the reasons I like fucking you hard is that I know it hurts."

"Oh...."

"Yeah, oh." Rodney shakes his head. "So, getting back to your new thing, what do you need me to do?"

"Depends on how serious a sadist you are." John sighs. "This is...it's different than me just wanting it when I'm stressed or edgy."

"Is it? Because right now stressed and edgy seems to be everyone's default."

"True. But this doesn't....it doesn't work the same way." John falls silent and Rodney's pretty he's reached his limit.

"Okay, to answer your question, I'd say I'm not a hardcore sadist, but I like hurting people. And for you...if you want more, I could get into it."

"Oh," John says again, but this time he's smiling. "So...you wanna?"

Rodney gets up and moves over to join John on the bed. "How much have you done? Has it just been you pinching yourself?"

"Mostly. It's good but I've been wanting to do more. I'm just not sure what."

"Hmmmmm.... Have you experimented much? Is it better if the pains in one spot, like a pinch? Or spread out, like a bigger bruise from being punched?"

"It's better when it's localized. Getting punched or kicked is easier to deal with, although taking a stick hit is pretty intense."

Rodney nods. "Okay, let me try something."

John looks like he's expecting Rodney to hurt him right now, but Rodney gets up and heads for his toolbag. After digging around a little he holds up a couple pairs of pliers.

"Fuck," John mutters. "I should...uh...be naked for this."

"Pants a little snug already?" Rodney asks, eying John's erection as John pulls his clothes off.

Settling back down on the bed, Rodney puts the pliers--a pair of needle nose and a pair of slip joints--no the bedside table. "I figured we'd stick to pinching for now. Where do you want it?"

John looks at the inside of his left arm. "Here, for comparison's sake."

As Rodney holds Johns arm and rubs the inside of it with his thumb, he's wondering how this is going to work for him. The idea of hurting John is appealing, but normally he's already turned on when he starts. He's feeling a little cool and detached right now, which, under the circumstances, is probably a good thing. Picking up the slip joint pliers, he adjusts them to the tighter setting.

"You ready for this?"

John swallows hard and nods.

Carefully pinching up a bit of skin and flesh, Rodney closes the pliers around it. "Tell me to stop and I will," he says.

"Just fucking do it," John snaps.

"Pushy," Rodney says although he knows it's not pushiness so much as nerves. He takes a deep breath and then clamps down with the pliers and twists them hard.

"Ow! Fuck!" John yelps. He doesn't tell Rodney to stop, though, so Rodney keeps twisting. "Fuck fuck fuck...."

It's weirdly hot, in a way hurting John usually isn't. Before Rodney can try and figure it out, however, John pushes at his hand. "Enough." He's panting and as soon as Rodney pulls the pliers away, they both stare at John's arm. The mark is dark red and even a little white where it's welted up. But even as they watch, the color fades and John's skin goes flat and smooth again.

"Oh God," John moans, arching off the bed a little. "That's...more!"

"Okay," Rodney says. He looks at the needle nose, but picks up the slip joints again. Given how hard Rodney pinched John, the needle nose might actually break skin and he's not sure if that's something John wants.

"Same place?"

"Yeah," John says. He rests a hand over his dick and says, "mind if I? Or would you rather do it."

"I'll just watch this time." Rodney bends down and kisses him. "Maybe next time."

He doesn't hesitate this time and it's pretty gratifying to hear John let out a loud groan. Rodney doesn't hesitate; he twists the pliers hard and the pauses and twists them the other way. He's got to work fast, he realizes. The nanities move pretty quickly and he doesn't want them to start healing....

Or maybe he does. He pauses again, longer this time.

"Don't stop," John says and then his eyes go wide and he sucks in a harsh breath. Rodney gives the nanites a moment to do their thing and then cranks the pliers around _hard._

"Oh fuck," John says. He arches again and starts jerking off, his strokes rough and uneven. "Fuck...Rodney...more!"

Rodney obliges, twisting the pilers and then pausing and then twisting again. It doesn't take long; a few minutes later, John shudders hard and comes all over his stomach and chest. As Rodney pulls the pliers away from his arm, John mutters "fuck" and shudders again.

Keeping a hand on John's shoulder, Rodney waits for John to come down a little. When he does, he opens his eyes and smiles up at Rodney.

"That was...wow." His smile is broader than usual and his eyes are a little glassy. Endorphins, Rodney thinks. It must have been pretty good.

"How 'bout you?" John says, gesturing vaguely in Rodney's direction. "Gimme a minute and I'll blow you."

Rodney's hard but not at all desperate; he can wait. "Yeah, okay." Then, unable to hide his curiosity, he says, "the thing where the nanites were healing you while I was still hurting you, could you tell the difference?"

"Mmmm hmmm. It was like...kinda like current coming through the pliers is the best way to describe it. Only there's like...." He frowns.

"Heat?" Rodney asks. "Because I always think it's hot acid under my skin."

"Yeah, that's it." John shakes his head. "I don't know why it works on me. When you first started up with the pliers, it hurt a lot more than I like." Rodney swallows the urge to apologize and just listens. "But when the nanites kicked in, it still hurt but...I dunno...I get what people mean by a good hurt."

"Huh." Before he loses his courage, Rodney reaches down with his fingers and pinches the inside of his own arm. He does it harder and holds it long after it starts to hurt. Finally, his eyes start watering and he lets go. "Holy fuck," he mutters as the nanites kick in. "Ow fuck!!"

John sits up and looks at him. "I take it that didn't work for you?"

"Depends on what you mean by work," Rodney says, his voice a little rough. He coughs. "If you mean 'great way to kill a hard on' it works like a fucking charm. Otherwise, no."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? You didn't do anything; I was just curious."

"Do you," John begins and then his voice trails off. "Do you think it's weird?"

"Weird? Yes. Wrong? No. Bad? No. Stupid? No."

"Well, thanks for that."

"No, I mean it," Rodney says. "All kinks are weird when you look at them objectively. I do _not_ think there's anything wrong with you for liking it." He leans down and kisses John again. "Think of it this way, your weird matches my weird, so where's the bad in that?"

John reaches up and slides his hand around the back of Rodney's neck, holding him place. He kisses Rodney back, hard and messy, and keeps it up until Rodney's squirming.

"Still want that blowjob?" John asks when he finally pulls back.

"Yeah, I could do with one now," Rodney says, knowing that his attempt to act causal is fooling exactly no one.

* * *

They play around with the pilers and nanites a few times, but they have vanilla sex a fair amount too. Rodney spends a lot of time thinking about John's new kink, because honestly, keeping the ship running doesn't require his full attention.

He understands the pain thing. Not all pain is equal and if John finds the the nanite healing hot, then he finds it hot. But after only a couple sessions with the pliers, Rodney's beginning to realize that there's something else going on. John's becoming fascinated with the process. He still loves it when Rodney times the initial pain with the healing, but there are times, usually early on, when he stares at the fading marks with wide eyes.

There's not really much to see. The color and the swelling slowly fades, leaving John's skin unblemished. Rodney finds it mildly interesting but it doesn't turn him on and he's not sure what John's getting out of it. He kind of wants to ask, but John will put up with only so much actual communication and Rodney doesn't want to push it.

It does, however, give Rodney an idea.

"So," he says to John one evening. "I was thinking about your thing." When John raises an eyebrow, Rodney adds, "your nanite pain thing. I thought of something."

"Something you want to do now?"

"Now or next time you feel like it."

"Well now you've got me all curious."

"Curious enough to get naked?" Rodney asks, although he doesn't have to, John's already stripping off his clothes.

Rodney grins at him and then heads toward John's nightstand.

"Seriously?" John asks.

"Only if you want to," Rodney says, turning John's knife over in his fingers.

"You'll have to...." John pauses and then laughs. "I was going to ask you to give it a good cleaning and then go over it with alcohol if we have any, but it's not like that's a problem."

"I was going to anyway," Rodney says as he heads toward the bathroom. "No point in bringing germs into the mix."

John's sitting up against the pillows when Rodney comes back carrying the knife and a towel. He's already hard and Rodney grins at him. "Here, might as well give this to you know." He tosses the towel to John and then settles on the bed next to him.

"Did you ever do knife play? I know you've been cut plenty of times, but did you ever do it for fun?"

"No," John says. "I never trusted anyone that much."

"Well now you have the nanites to take care of you."

"Rodney?" John reaches out and rests a hand on Rodney's hand, over the hilt of the knife. "It's not the nanites."

"Oh," Rodney says, looking down at their hands.

"Yeah, oh, Doctor Oblivious."

"Because you're Colonel McFeelings all the time." Rodney bends down and kisses John. "Me too, you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Rodney pauses. "And now do I get to slice you up or what?"

"Slice away." John holds out his arm.

Rodney stares down at the network of blue veins under the pale skin of John's inner arm. "Maybe your thigh? There's bleeding and then there's me opening up a vein. I know the nanites will fix it, but let's not push it."

"Okay." John pats his thigh.

The first cut isn't a cut at all, it's more of a scratch. John gives Rodney a look and Rodney rolls his eyes. "Let me work up to it, would you? I've never sliced up a boyfriend before. With a knife, I mean."

"Funny," John says, rolling his eyes.

Rodney cuts him again, deeper this time. It's still shallow, but he draws a few beads of blood. It heals in seconds and John makes a weird little sound--half laugh, half snort.

"What?"

"That's weird...kinda tickles."

"So, deeper?" John nodes and Rodney drags the knife along his skin again. He's pressing a lot harder now and John hisses as a line of blood springs up following the point of the knife. Just as Rodney lifts the knife after cutting about two inches of John's thighs, it starts to heal. From the way John shivers, Rodney's pretty sure it's not just tickling him.

"Something longer?"

"Yeah, and really, you can go deeper." John pauses. "Are you okay with this?"

"Depends. Is it working for you?"

"Yeah, but I don't want it if you don't like it."

"I like it," Rodney says, after thinking about it for a moment. "I'll be honest with you; it's not turning me on. But I like knowing it turns you on and there's a...a precision to it. Like a...okay like a fiddly bit of engineering."

"That's all I am to you," John says with a big fake sigh.

Actually, now that Rodney thinks about it, John is an engineering project. They all are. He shoves the thought aside for later and pats John's leg. "Yup."

Before John can say anything, Rodney rests the point of the knife at the top of John's thigh. After taking a breath, he slices right through John's skin. He keeps up the pressure as he slowly cuts his way down John's thigh. Even if he weren't watching carefully, he'd be able to tell when the nanites start healing the cut--John's groans instantly shift from pained to excited.

"Keep," John says through gritted teeth. "Keep...doing it."

"Yeah, okay." Rodney's still not turned on, but he's fascinated as he slices his way back up from right above John's knee to the top of his thigh. The first cut has already healed, but there's still blood all over John's leg and normally that would freak Rodney out. Now, however, the blood isn't a danger sign.

He keeps cutting, striping John's leg with bloody lines while John gets louder and increasingly incoherent. He's shaking and Rodney's not sure if it's the pain and the nanites or if John's just fighting to remain still. Rodney pauses, waiting while the most recent cut heals.

"I'm not sure I can do this while you're jerking off."

"S'okay," John gasps. "Couple more lines should do it."

"Not hurting too much? I mean bad hurting." Rodney glances up at John and damn, but he looks hot--all flushed and sweaty, his eyes wide.

"Bad hurts like _fuck_...totally worth it, though."

"If you say so." Rodney grabs the towel, cleans up John's leg a little and then picks up the knife again.

He's been watching the cuts and now he times it carefully; laying down each new cut before the old one quite finishes healing. John's panting and swearing and shaking hard enough that Rodney grabs John's knee with his free hand to hold his leg still.

"Oh fuck," John yells loudly. "Rodney...fuck...."

"I've got you," Rodney says, somehow knowing what John needs to hear. "I'm right here...it's okay."

He puts down one more cut, deep this time, and then drops the knife on the bed. Clamping his hand on John's hip, he holds his leg still while the wound heals. It's an oddly compelling sight, seeing the flesh and skin come together seamlessly and to Rodney's surprise, he finds it kind of hot.

John yells again, wordlessly this time, and comes hard. As the last of the cut heals, he shudders and moans one last time.

"Good?" Rodney says after a moment.

"Let you know once I find my brain," John says. He gives Rodney that goofy smile, the one that means the endorphins are helping him just like the nanites did a few minutes ago. "Seriously...that was...."

"Hot," Rodney says. "Watching it heal...was hot."

He's not ready to say that John was more right than he knew earlier. Yes, Rodney loves him and yes, John's important to him in so many ways, but just now, John is an engineering project. A machine for Rodney to take apart and put back together.

It's a creepy thought, but a little later, after John had jerked him off until Rodney came with John's mouth pressed down over his, Rodney realizes something. He's always done this. Ever since he learned that John needed, he's been taking him apart and putting him back together.

So it's okay then, Rodney thinks. Everything else in their lives might be fucked up, but this? This is okay.

_-end-_

**Author's Note:**

> I was banging my head against the medical play square on my KB card, until it occurred to me actual healing could be, under certain circumstances, a turn on. The title is from "Bleeding Out" by Imagine Dragons.


End file.
